This unpredictable business of blogging is messing up what's left of my free time. It's making a shambles of my life, too. I've never been this volatile in so many a days. It's weird because I've been practically on autopilot mode these past months, and now this.
One moment, I'd be feeling particularly pleased with myself for having finished a nice piece, perhaps a bit better than I'd expected. The next minute, I'd be despondent because no matter what I do, I just don't seem to be moving in any direction at all. Then I'd be downcast for several days, and that muddles up my writing. The next thing I know I'm back to wrestling with my self-doubts.
When I started on this road more than a year ago, I was hopeful that it would lead to something big -- well, at least something different to punctuate my humdrum schedule. And then boom, our workload tripled, then our schedule went haywire and so did our social lives. aaargh!
It's bad enough that I have to contend with a massive load of writer's block every now and then. These days, I barely even have enough time to decide on a topic, pick out a title (mostly a hit-or-miss affair), re-read everything I'd written, check for glaring errors, edit the whole thing, and look for a nice way to round things off. Selecting an effective ending for an article is another weakness of mine¬ -- I have this tendency to ramble on... well, you get the drift.
I suppose it's mostly my fault. Part of my frustration stems from lack of technical know-how. I have this vague concept of how I want my page to look like (content, theme, features, etc.), but as everyone knows there's a huge difference between what looks good on a drawing board and reality. And so I'm reduced to using templates without understanding how some of the buttons work. I suppose this is mostly because I lack the time to explore the features at my disposal. At any rate, despite my gripes, I continue to plod on, hoping one of these days I'd get the hang of things and produce this jaw-dropping, gorgeous site that everyone would want to access... it makes for a nice fantasy anyway.
You're so honest. I wish more people were like you.
Be brave, continue to be honest.