Times change
It’s amazing to think how different things were when I had my first child 7 years ago. I know it doesn’t seem that long ago, but in terms of parenting support and advice networks, things have evolved so much.
I didn’t even have the internet in 2000, let alone use it to the degree I do now.
Keeping up with the times
When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, it was, to say the least a huge shock to the system. Unplanned, but very much welcomed, I felt like a total novice again, and really needed to brush up on my pregnancy and parenting knowledge. As a nurse I had dealt with other people’s children day to day, but it is a different story when you are bringing up your own.
I stumbled across the concept of ‘blogging’ during my pregnancy. Until that time ‘blogging’ was just a word for the thing I thought ‘internet geeks’ did. How wrong was I, blogging became a valuable lifeline for me.
Getting hooked
Throughout my pregnancy I found myself getting hooked on ‘blogging’ and posting answers to worried pregnant women’s concerns, in a bid to help where I could. I suppose my instinct in 14 years of nursing has been to help people, and so I really did get a huge buzz from the feeling it gave me.
I frequently visited websites like ‘Huggies’ and ‘Pampers’ and enjoyed reading other people’s advice, and joining in where I could. I was amazed how much I learned by using such a simple medium.
Living rurally, with very few friends with children, let alone babies, I didn’t have the access to ‘on tap’ advice from people in my peer group, so these blog sites really turned out to be a lifeline for me.
Having had a bad health experience during my first pregnancy, the reassurance I got from total strangers, that my second pregnancy was going to be ‘o.k.’ was really refreshing.
Making friends
To my surprise, I have even maintained contact with a few of the mums I met via the websites, and we email one another on a regular basis, so the support network has truly continued with vigour.
The topics covered on these blogsites is so varied, women really feel like they can ask anything, and not feel like a fool. I suppose the sites were like modern day ‘antenatal’ classes, without leaving the house.
Noticing a worrying symptom
At 33 weeks pregnant I began to get increasingly breathless. I knew this was not just pregnancy related, but several doctors told me to calm down, and stop worrying.
I recall reading a blog post that a lady had written, telling her tale of identical symptoms to me. She too was placated, and told there was nothing wrong. Her problem turned out to be a pulmonary embolism (blood clot on the lung), terrifyingly, so did mine.
Had it not been for my determination following what that lady had written, I may not be here to tell the tale. Her story was a mirror image of mine, and I only have the availability of the ‘Huggies’ website to thank for that.
Premature baby
Sadly 5 days after the discovery of my blood clot, I developed severe pre-eclampsia, just as I did 7 years before. My son had to be delivered by emergency caesarian, I was 34 weeks pregnant.
He was a fighter, and after 11 days in hospital came out to start life in the real world.
I continued to be unwell, so life wasn’t easy looking after a premature baby following a caesarian, also with a blood clot on my lung.
Lonely at home
As the weeks went by, I became increasingly isolated at home. What should have been an enjoyable summer with a newborn baby boy, turned out to be very different for me.
I decided to get ‘blogging’ again, and see if somehow I could help other mums and mum’s-to-be, the way that lady helped me.
I just wish she knew how much she did help.
I spent hours at a time advising and posting new subjects, and really gained a huge amount of satisfaction being in touch with ‘civilisation’ once again.
As if things weren’t bad enough
At 5 weeks of age my baby starting having problems with constipation. Again I turned to the websites for help, and advice came rolling in via the blogs.
Over a period of week, my son went from having simple constipation, to finding out he had a serious bowel abnormality, and by accident we even discovered he only had one working kidney.
We were devastated
Oliver had major bowel surgery at 8 weeks old, and is possibly going to need his kidney removed next year.
He is on several medications for the bowel and kidney problems, and to make matters worse he also suffers terribly from gastric reflux, so he is sick a lot of the time.
Having nearly gone insane spending so many weeks in solitary confinement at the children’s hospital, when we finally got home, I turned to my trusty blog’s and got typing once again.
As I expected the help and advice flowed. I was so pleased to be able to offer other desperate, lost parent’s the advice I so desperately needed when Oliver first became unwell.
The genuine care and kindness total strangers have offered me over the past few months is truly beyond belief.
My advice
It’s simple really. Get blogging, I have changed into a different person, and learnt so much since I started doing this. The satisfaction to be gained is immense, I cannot recommend it more highly.
To become isolated like I did is really not necessary in this day and age, to think that I have made an entirely new network of friends is fantastic.
As far as I’m concerned I owe my life and that of my baby son to the advice that so many women kindly offered.
