Another day, another chain email. Another prayer I need to send to seven friends, another heartwarming story that sounds like it came out of a 1957 Reader's Digest, another joke or funny picture, arriving with two screens of addresses, to prove, if I needed more proof that I am the Last To Know. However, what I find so remarkable about this stuff is that often, at the bottom there's an advisory reading something like;
********** Confidentiality Notice **********
This electronic transmission and any attached documents or other writings are confidential and are for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) identified above. This message may contain information that is privileged, confidential or otherwise protected from disclosure under applicable law. If the receiver of this information is not the intended recipient, or the employee, or agent responsible for delivering the information to the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any use, reading,dissemination, distribution, copying or storage of this information is strictly prohibited. If you have received this information in error, please notify the sender by return email and delete the electronic transmission,including all attachments from your system.
*****
This means the story about the man and the donkey, or the lady and the six kids, or the puppy with two days to live, or the joke about the old couple, was sent from some office by someone who was supposed to be working. Now I don't know about you, but I don't have time to read the long story about the man and the donkey. I am too busy to be shedding tears over the mother and her six hungry children, maybe the joke is funny, but seeing those screens of addresses and know that it's another, yes! another chain email, I delete it. I know that many of these chain emails demand that I send it one to seven of my friends. As I have friends who are also busy and would not be my friends if I sent them this junk, I disobey the exhortation. I'll take the risk. But what about those superstitious folk? The way the email is worded, breaking the chain, causes a very large bolt of lightening to come out of a clear sky and fry their employer's computer. This really shouldn't bother them, save they'll lose their games and contacts.
You don't have to ponder why there's a problem with American workers, or a recession, or failing economy. I am sure every single company has at least one employee who spends his/her time sending or creating this drivel and passing it to other employees, so that thousands of hours are wasted every day dealing with chain emails. Bandwidth is clogged with this gunk, meaning that vital data will be bumped so that another funny picture can make the rounds. As a service to humanity I have taken it upon myself to be the "dead email office". Any gunk sent to me is deleted. There are open positions at the dead email office so you can apply. Simply delete the next chain email unread. Don't worry about lightening strikes, remember, it's probably your company's computer that will be struck, and I'm sure you're looking for another work holiday.
