Millions of young (and not so young) couples have Stella Groschel to thank for helping them get together.
Now in her mid 80s, Stella started the first ever registered matchmaking agency in the UK, and now over 50 years later, she is still helping “single-but-searching” men and women to find the partner of their dreams.
Stella was a pioneer, the forerunner of todays online dating and matchmaking agencies. In prim and proper 1950s UK, the idea of a matchmaking agency was so scandalous that newspapers back then actually refused to carry the adverts, for fear of causing a scandal!
How things have changed!
The online matchmaking business of today is huge. In any one day, it is estimated that over 4m US based users visit an online matchmaker. If we extrapolate and consider world-wide numbers, it is probable that up to 50m global romantics continue their search for Mr or Mrs Right.
We can maybe double these numbers by also considering those who continue to use the many thousands of small, local dating and matchmaking agencies, run from tiny offices in high streets and back streets from Baltimore to Basildon, and Durban to Dubai.
Even if you are not looking, take a read of the Personal ads in your own local newspaper, just for fun. For newcomers to cracking the matchmaking codes, they can read like something out of James Bond:
“G/L SM38, NS, GSH, WLTM FF30-40 for LTR and MM. Please call John on 0247 894 7560.”
Translation: “Good looking, single male, aged 38, non-smoker, with a good sense of humour, would like to meet feminine female, aged 30-40, for a long term relationship and maybe marriage.”
So who are the people who use matchmakers, especially those online?
Well, to be honest they are literally you and me. In other words, all sorts of people, from all walks of life, and for all sorts of reasons:
- Simple friendship, and good company
- People who have recently lost their life's companion
- Recent divorcees (or recent separations) who miss the closeness and intimacy of a life-partner
- Professionals who simply have very little time of their own to meet a potential love interest from the normal social contact arenas of bars, night-clubs, sports clubs, special interest groups and so on
- People who are perhaps a little shy and find the privacy and anonymity of the internet gives them the confidence to initially express themselves more openly than they would do so face-to-face
But also, please beware, for there are a few weirdos out there. There are some rules, especially for you girls that really are worth following:
- Try to stick with those who have posted a photo of themselves on their profile. If he or she has not posted a photo, but you quite like the sound of them, ask for one - s/he may look like the back of a bus or be much older/younger than you thought.
- Not having a profile photo may indicate they have something to hide, or simply that they do not have a digital photo of themselves. Do not rush to judge.
- Never, ever, give personal information on your profile which could help someone to identify you or where you live. For example, do not write where and when you attended school, or college. Don't give the name of your current or previous employer. If the person you're hoping to meet feels the same about you, after you have met, that is the time to begin to reveal who you are in more detail.
- Never meet a cyber contact after only one or two email exchanges
- Always speak to him/her on the telephone two or three times before agreeing to meet. People cannot hide their real selves behind a telephone as easily as they may think.
- Be cautious if they will only give you their mobile number or only a work number (he or she may have a wife or husband at home)
- Arrange for the first meeting in a very public place, like a coffee shop in the local mall. Lunch time is better than evening.
- When going for that first meeting, always tell a friend or relative where you are going, and ask them to call you on your mobile after about 15 minutes of your scheduled meeting. This can be an easy pretext call, not obviously to check that they are OK.
- Even better would be to get that friend or relative to accompany you to the first meeting in the coffee shop, but to sit at another table, discreetly watching to make sure you're OK
Even today, some people are shy about admitting they have used (or met their wife/husband) through the Net, or a matchmaking site, but there really is no need. In the experience of many, they are really proud to talk of the romanticism of their meeting, and after years of hoping, they have truly met their real soul-mate.
So if you are single (or single again) but have a problem meeting the right person, why not try a good matchmaking site online. Give them a try (but please don't forget to follow the rules above).
Good luck and I sincerely hope you find your soul-mate.
