I met Deborah, the love of my life, through an online dating service. Therefore, I am an avid supporter of online dating and I highly recommend it. I do not recommend it again for myself or Deborah. Since we found each other we are no longer looking for that special someone. I am a lucky man to have her and I realize it.
That said there is one online dating service of which I question their choice of spokesperson. I saw a commercial with Dr. Phil speaking for the online dating service, match.com. It shocked me that this service was using Phil as its spokesperson.
Years ago I was asked what I thought about him. Before answering I forced myself to watch a couple of his television shows. I put them in a class with the Jerry Springer show, minus the flashing of body parts, without the onstage brawls and his onstage guests did put in their teeth for filming, so Dr. Phil's guests, back then, were one step above Jerry's guests.
The quests were in need of help, but had no business airing the dirty laundry they were airing for the sake of his ratings. Any self-respecting psychologist would have seen that their dysfunction needed treatment, not airing to the world. Dr. Phil was not the self-respecting psychologist who recognized that. I suppose “self-respecting” is a keyword here. Actually, is that two words?
Work with me here. Let's state some facts about Phil as we work through this column. Not long ago he claimed he was counseling Britney Spears on her issues only to have her and her entire family call him a liar. Remember seeing the news, Britney was walking out of the hospital and good old Dr. Phil was walking behind her group as if he were part of the entourage? Later it was learned that he was an uninvited tag along.
The incident caused a stir amongst her and her family when he claimed that he would be counseling her and had scheduled an appearance by her on his show. With that egg on his face Dr. Phil is still on the air and there are still people who watch him. His guests now rival Jerry Springer's guests.
Back to online dating, since that is in the tagline of this column. There is apparently a segment from one of the old Oprah Winfrey shows in which Dr. Phil tells an abused lady she was asking for trouble by using those online dating services.
“What kind of men did you expect to meet through the internet?” He asked the abused lady who met her husband through online dating. He seemed to be taking the position that she deserved the abuse because she met her husband online.
Apparently someone told him that good people do actually get on the internet. My readers get on the internet and they are good people. The fact that he now makes commercials for an internet dating service demonstrates that someone has shown him the light, or at least shown him the money. Again, it is probably the latter.
I am hung up on his credentials and would like to discuss those further. I realize he would rather not talk about sanctions in Texas. No wonder, since those sanctions related to an inappropriate sexual relation allegation with a 19 year old patient whom Dr. Phil hired to work for him. Apparently the hiring of a patient is an ethical violation in its own right. Dr. Phil does deny the allegation of sexual impropriety. Did you think a man with his ego would admit it?
The state of Texas thought the sexual allegation had merit. Dr. Phil was ordered by the State Board to take an ethics class, pass a jurisprudence exam, complete a physical evaluation, undergo a psychological evaluation and have his practice supervised for one year in order to continue his private practice in Texas.
He is also divorced from his first wife. What is wrong with that? Many people in America are divorced, even this humble columnist. However, Dr. Phil tried to cover up the fact that he was divorced because his television show presents him as a relationship expert. Details of his first marriage are a further slap in the face of Phil's credentials?
While married to his first wife Dr Phil could not keep his pants zipped when he was around other women. He counsels against that sort of behavior where others are concerned, but told his ex-wife was nothing wrong with it in his case. He is exempt from rules to which he holds others. Go figure! This guy who demands that his guests be open and honest on national television seems unable to tell the truth about his past indiscretions. Should Dr. Phil be giving advice, or seeking it?
Finally, as I risk beating to death this dating site thing, should any that hire this man as a spokesperson be taken seriously? I am sure match.com is making millions, otherwise how could they afford Dr. Phil? If I were in need of a dating website, I would not use match.com.
If you are in that fast growing group of people who have seen the light with respect to Dr. Phil and are using the match.com website please make a statement, cancel your membership. Let the site know that you canceled because you do not approve of Dr. Phil. As a consumer you have power, especially in numbers. Use that power! Send Phil's ego packing, the go back to match.com as their reward for doing the right thing.
