There is a certain art to writing a good Facebook status update. It is a text box of 160 characters, in which you are supposed to fit enough information about yourself to keep people informed as to your whereabouts, your activity, your pets' activity, your diet or whatever else you want them to be informed of. There are a few approaches to this.
I tend to opt for the humorous approach, as there is not a whole lot serious that I really want to burden my friends with, and I would much rather make them smile. Here are some examples:
- Will is hiding near the door, growling
- Will is greased up
- Will is unable to cope with the constant threat of electro-funk
- Will is putting the "fun" into fundamentalism
So you get the idea. It's nothing to do with what is really going on in your life, it's more of just a funny one-liner to share with your friends.
The next approach is the begging approach. You want to make people aware of something you are doing or have done, so you put it as your status. Examples:
- Will wants to go out. Anyone?
- Chris is in a play tomorrow night at the Courtyard, Hereford - see it (please)
- Bartholomew is in the London Gazette today
- Anna is off to the London marathon!
This works well for publicizing things to your friends, stuff like gigs etc. Great way to exploit the world of social networking, if your friends don't mind.
The next (and my most hated) is the Myspace approach. You've got confused between Facebook (social networking between people with too much PC time) and Myspace (A photo gallery for people with too much fringe). Examples:
- Hanye is sad =(
- Zak is confussssssed =(
- Louise hates you all =(
- Martin =(
It's dull, it's a downer, no-one wants to hear it ok? And stop doing those stupid little faces after your snippet of depression. Please credit us, your readers, with enough intelligence to figure out the emotion in a sentence. If you have real grief, that is fair enough. But if you're sad because you missed a TV show, can it.
And last but not least (Myspace took that coveted spot), the “MY LIFE IS SO FLIPPIN MENTAL I'VE JUSRT GOT TO CAPITALIZE AN MISPEL:L IT!!!” status. These ones really speak for themselves. Just say no, kids.
- Victoria is RECOVERING FROM THIS WQEEKENDS ANTICS.. =] LOVE YOU GUYSSS … X X
Not big, not clever.
So the basic rules for a good status are:
- Be light. No frowns if possible (illness or bereavement permissible)
- Spell correctly. Otherwise you look like a douche.
- Don't use capitals unless your wife has just had a baby
- No stupid smiley faces.
- Try stuff which will make people talk to you. That's the reason you're on Facebook in the first place, right?
